I have really struggled to accept my body for years. My breasts developed early in live (age 12), and buying clothes—particularly tops—has always been hard. During college (and when I started taking birth control), I began gaining weight. A few pounds here… a few pounds there. And even though I worked out somewhat regularly, I never was able to really shed the pounds.
And honestly, the reason that I wasn’t losing weight is because of my relationship with food—I love food. There! I said it! I love food, and I live in a city that specializes in some of the best food in the USA.
Over the past few years, I’ve been hiding myself under larger, baggier tops (can you say Comfort Colors tees?), hoping no one would notice. But I noticed. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. It was honestly a very low point in my life.
But, over the last few months, I’ve discovered some wonderful bloggers who are all about loving the skin you’re in, in addition to maintaining an active, healthy lifestyle. And gradually, bit-by-bit, I’ve begun to accept my body, jiggly bits, stretch marks, and all.
That doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up and eat all the foods I can get my hands on. In fact, I’ve recently changed my ENTIRE relationship with food by doing the Whole 30, and I am feeling so great and confident. And we’re continuing to increase our activity level as a couple.
On that note, I bought a new swimsuit. Yes, it’s form-fitting. Yes, it shows areas of my body that I have spent so many years being self-conscious of. But it’s pink, and it’s cute. I feel fun and flirty in it. Truth: for the past few years, I’ve bought the same style/brand swimsuit (in different colors) and worn them all summer. One style. Because it “concealed” the areas of my body I didn’t like. But not anymore.
I’m on a journey to loving the body I’m in, whether I lose fifteen pounds or stay where I’m at. Whether I’m a little bloated or feeling confident. It’s an ongoing journey, and I know I’ve got a long road (and maybe some judgement) ahead of me, but I’m ready to face it head on!
*2018 Emma would NEVER have posted a photo of herself in a swimsuit that didn’t have ruffles to conceal her tummy area. 2019 Emma says woo! Let’s rock this Aerie suit.*
*Oh yeah, this swimsuit is from Aerie, a brand that promotes body positivity! *