4 Things I Look For In A Friend

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Am I the only one who thinks making friends as an adult is difficult? When I was a child, it was much easier because all I had to do was walk up to someone and say, ‘wanna be friends?’, and we magically were. Back then, I had no fear of judgment and no apprehension. Making friends as a twenty-something, though, has proven much more hard for me.

Ryan and I are at this strange “in-between” season of our lives. We’re no longer in the college-phase where we go out and drink excessively all weekend, but we also don’t have kids yet. Many people our age who haven’t started families yet still enjoy going out to bars and clubs every weekend to drink and party, and we simply don’t. Don’t get me wrong—Ryan and I both like to socialize and we do drink occasionally, but we’ve moved past that college stage of life.

I tried Bumble BFF (the find-a-friend version of the dating app) for a while, and I thought I’d found a really good friend. In fact, she and I hung out often for several months, but eventually I realized that the friendship I thought we had was very one-sided. I was always the one reaching out to suggest things we could do, and when I stopped asking her, she didn’t try to reach out to me. We’ve now lost touch almost completely, and I haven’t heard from her in months.

Over the past few years, I’ve had quite a few friends I thought were GOOD friends, but when I moved away (from college, from Savannah) or left a certain job, I realized that proximity was key for those friends. If I wasn’t living in the same town or working in the same office, they were no longer interested in maintaining the friendship, and we quickly drifted apart. On the flip side of that, though, I have some friends that I only see every few months, and we’re able to pick right up where we left off. It’s easy and natural, and we don’t have to force the friendship.

This journey toward finding new friends in the Charleston area—true, good friends—has taught me is what I’m hoping to find in a friend:

  1. Someone I can be 100% myself around—a friend who doesn’t judge me for the fact that I make endless to-do lists or that I like to talk in a British accent.
  2. Someone who’s always willing to make plans, even if those plans are just ordering take-out and watching TV.
  3. Someone who understands that I have days where I’m down and sad and who tries to cheer me up on those days.
  4. Someone I can share everything with—from what I had for lunch to what the deepest, darkest secrets of my soul are.

I’ve recently started spending more time with other writers and other bloggers, and I’m confident that God is intentionally sending certain people into my life.

If you have ever struggled to make friends as an adult (of just in general), let me know in the comments!

Bye y’all,

♥ Emma ♥

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Tank top from Old Navy
Jeggings from American Eagle
Jacket from TJ Maxx
Shoes from Target
Sunglasses from J.Crew

 

 

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