Merry Christmas, y’all! I’m officially back to blogging!
October & November were really challenging months for me, and by the time Thanksgiving was over, I was worn out and burnt out. I did “win” National Novel Writing Month, though, meaning that I finished all the final, major revisions. Now, it’s time to do final edits and begin the self-publishing process. Which means I need to do some serious research on the self-publishing process. During NaNo, I began to realize that my book title doesn’t exactly fit the story, and I already know that I want to write a follow-up book to this one about a secondary character, so I have decided that my debut novel will be Book 1 of the Lights Out Club Series. Which means I have to pick a new title for this book.
During NaNo, I felt so isolated from others, and I had an odd sense of loneliness when it was over. At the same time, I was so tired (for a myriad of reasons) that I ended up doing the bare minimum for about a week. I was in a slump, and I wasn’t sure how to pull out of it. Many of y’all know that I cope with anxiety from time-to-time, and I don’t always handle stress so well, and I guess this is proof.
Finally, though, I’m getting back to my normal self—driven, motivated, and industrious. I’m starting to Christmas shop and bake for friends & neighbors. One of the best gifts I’ve already gotten for Christmas is that Ryan is finally home and not working out of town anymore. I cannot tell you how nice it is to have him home and working in Charleston again. I’m also feeling the itch to write again, and a new story is cooking in my brain! I think I’m going to hold off for another few weeks (maybe till after Christmas?) before I start drafting anything new. I’m forcing myself to take a much needed break.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with doubt. I’ve doubted that I could publish a book, that anyone would even read my book, and that they wouldn’t enjoy it if they did actually read it. I’ve also found myself doubting whether or not I should keep blogging. How many people are actually reading it, I asked myself. And if they are reading it, are they getting anything out of it?
Here’s what I realized. My blog is missing something. My blog is missing ME! What do I mean, you may be asking? Well, I simply mean that I’m usually the one BEHIND the camera, rather than in the photos. I have about a million reasons for that, which I’m not sure I’m ready to go into yet, but here’s what I do know: You’re about to be seeing a whole lot more of ME on this blog!
When I first began to write seriously as a college student, I was scared of being judged when I told people I was a writer. Finally, after a couple years, I managed to move past that fear. Now, I’m trying to move past all my fears, anxiety, and self-consciousness, and I’m going to put myself out there. Here’s the thing—I know that I’m overweight, and it’s something I cope with daily, but that shouldn’t send me hiding behind the camera. I definitely need to be more active and make an effort to establish a healthier lifestyle. I do know that, I swear. But at the same time, I’m not a lesser person because of my weight, and I’m tired of feeling that way. I’m tired of hiding who I am.
In the spirit of full transparency, let me tell you exactly who I am. I’m a 27-year old writer who works a full-time job at an awesome bank. Aside from the occasional glass of wine (maybe once a month), I don’t drink. I’d rather stay in on a weekend night and watch Live PD than deal with a crowded bar or club. When I’m home, I’m usually wearing leggings and an oversized tank top. It’s comfortable, and I like to lounge comfortably. I watch the TV show Friends over and over again, and I still catch things I missed when I watched it the sixth or seventh time (I’ve watched the entire 10 seasons about fifteen times now, at least). If I find a shirt I like, I’ll often buy it in three or four different colors. I can’t walk in high heels. I don’t have a “beauty routine”, nor do I “do” my eyebrows very often. Honestly, I’m pretty basic. Relatively low-maintenance, even.
And I’m okay with ALL of that.
I am who I am, and I’m not planning to change that anytime soon.
So here we go—blog posts with more of ME in them. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you enjoyed this post. Be sure to comment below and let me know what you think!
(Picking out our Christmas tree. Took all of two minutes)
(I’m obsessed with these warm hats from C.C. www.ccbeanie.com. I also have several of the ones that have a hole in the top for my ponytail, when I have long hair)
(Waiting for the Reindeer Run 5K to start)
(Reindeer Run 2018 with four of my fellow Financial Specialists at Pinnacle, as well as Goose and Poppy)
(Ugly Christmas Sweater at Pinnacle! Ted, Leah, me, and Blaine! We look so festive!)