Tis The Season of ME

 

Merry Christmas, y’all! I’m officially back to blogging!

October & November were really challenging months for me, and by the time Thanksgiving was over, I was worn out and burnt out. I did “win” National Novel Writing Month, though, meaning that I finished all the final, major revisions. Now, it’s time to do final edits and begin the self-publishing process. Which means I need to do some serious research on the self-publishing process. During NaNo, I began to realize that my book title doesn’t exactly fit the story, and I already know that I want to write a follow-up book to this one about a secondary character, so I have decided that my debut novel will be Book 1 of the Lights Out Club Series. Which means I have to pick a new title for this book.

During NaNo, I felt so isolated from others, and I had an odd sense of loneliness when it was over. At the same time, I was so tired (for a myriad of reasons) that I ended up doing the bare minimum for about a week. I was in a slump, and I wasn’t sure how to pull out of it. Many of y’all know that I cope with anxiety from time-to-time, and I don’t always handle stress so well, and I guess this is proof.

Finally, though, I’m getting back to my normal self—driven, motivated, and industrious. I’m starting to Christmas shop and bake for friends & neighbors. One of the best gifts I’ve already gotten for Christmas is that Ryan is finally home and not working out of town anymore. I cannot tell you how nice it is to have him home and working in Charleston again. I’m also feeling the itch to write again, and a new story is cooking in my brain! I think I’m going to hold off for another few weeks (maybe till after Christmas?) before I start drafting anything new. I’m forcing myself to take a much needed break.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with doubt. I’ve doubted that I could publish a book, that anyone would even read my book, and that they wouldn’t enjoy it if they did actually read it. I’ve also found myself doubting whether or not I should keep blogging. How many people are actually reading it, I asked myself. And if they are reading it, are they getting anything out of it?

Here’s what I realized. My blog is missing something. My blog is missing ME! What do I mean, you may be asking? Well, I simply mean that I’m usually the one BEHIND the camera, rather than in the photos. I have about a million reasons for that, which I’m not sure I’m ready to go into yet, but here’s what I do know: You’re about to be seeing a whole lot more of ME on this blog!

When I first began to write seriously as a college student, I was scared of being judged when I told people I was a writer. Finally, after a couple years, I managed to move past that fear. Now, I’m trying to move past all my fears, anxiety, and self-consciousness, and I’m going to put myself out there. Here’s the thing—I know that I’m overweight, and it’s something I cope with daily, but that shouldn’t send me hiding behind the camera. I definitely need to be more active and make an effort to establish a healthier lifestyle. I do know that, I swear. But at the same time, I’m not a lesser person because of my weight, and I’m tired of feeling that way. I’m tired of hiding who I am.

In the spirit of full transparency, let me tell you exactly who I am. I’m a 27-year old writer who works a full-time job at an awesome bank. Aside from the occasional glass of wine (maybe once a month), I don’t drink. I’d rather stay in on a weekend night and watch Live PD than deal with a crowded bar or club. When I’m home, I’m usually wearing leggings and an oversized tank top. It’s comfortable, and I like to lounge comfortably. I watch the TV show Friends over and over again, and I still catch things I missed when I watched it the sixth or seventh time (I’ve watched the entire 10 seasons about fifteen times now, at least). If I find a shirt I like, I’ll often buy it in three or four different colors. I can’t walk in high heels. I don’t have a “beauty routine”, nor do I “do” my eyebrows very often. Honestly, I’m pretty basic. Relatively low-maintenance, even.

And I’m okay with ALL of that.

I am who I am, and I’m not planning to change that anytime soon.

So here we go—blog posts with more of ME in them. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you enjoyed this post. Be sure to comment below and let me know what you think!

 

Bye y’all,

Emma

 

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(Picking out our Christmas tree. Took all of two minutes)

 

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(I’m obsessed with these warm hats from C.C. www.ccbeanie.com. I also have several of the ones that have a hole in the top for my ponytail, when I have long hair)

 

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(Waiting for the Reindeer Run 5K to start)

 

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(Reindeer Run 2018 with four of my fellow Financial Specialists at Pinnacle, as well as Goose and Poppy)

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(Ugly Christmas Sweater at Pinnacle! Ted, Leah, me, and Blaine! We look so festive!)

 

3 comments

  1. You’re lovely! Greetings from a fellow low-maintenance human and self-doubting writer. Oh, and yes, there will be people who will not just want to read but will enjoy your books, be sure about it! Happy holidays!

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  2. I love who you are! Maybe I’m wrong, but I think I know WHO you are. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I struggle with the weight issue so I understand that it’s a symptom of other issues. I believe in you and will support all that you want to accomplish! BTW, I look forward to the blog and have missed it, but understand the need for an occasional break. You’ve had the whole house to run on your own for a few months, with Ryan working out of town. Can’t wait to see you in a couple of weeks.😊

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