Hello everyone! I wanted to do a quick follow-up to Tuesday’s post and share why I think it’s so important for your family to like the person that you’re marrying!
Over the years, I’ve seen my sisters (and brother) bring home different people to meet us. Some of them, we really liked. Others…not so much. (Also, please note that this should not be construed as anything negative about my siblings; there are SEVEN of us, so we’re bound to bring home a dud every now and then! )
Listen to me when I tell you this: if your family and friends don’t like the person you’re dating and/or planning to marry, you should heed their warnings.
Sometimes, when you’re in love, it can be really hard to see the truth and reality of the situation. I know this from previous experience (before Ryan, obviously). I was dating someone who I thought I was likely going to marry after college, but there were all of these little voices in my head that pointed out less than ideal things. Nothing terrible, mind you. Just small incompatibilities and character traits that wouldn’t have meshed well in the long run. Occasionally, my mother would point something out to me, but I would ignore it. And my friends didn’t absolutely dislike him, but I could tell that he didn’t mesh well with them.
Here’s the hard truth—the truth that you need to recognize before you marry someone. If your family and your friends don’t like him now, they may not ever like him. And do you realize how awkward that will make life? Every time you want to hang out with your friends or you go home for the holidays, your spouse will be with you. And if your friends and family don’t like the person you’re dating/engaged to/married to, those get-togethers might end up being awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including your spouse.
Ask yourself this: why don’t your friends and family like this person? What’s the reasoning behind their dislike? I can almost guarantee you that they have some valid logic behind their concerns, but you’re probably too “in love” to recognize it.
I am fortunate. My family has welcomed Ryan with open arms, and that’s no small feat, I can assure you. I have six siblings. Five of them are married, which means five brothers-in law for Ryan to meet along with my sisters and brother. In addition, I have over twenty-six nieces and nephews and a handful of great nieces and nephews now. Do you know how hard it is to get everyone to like a man you bring home? Ryan played it smart; he learned very quickly to stand in the back yard, usually around a fire, with my dad, brother and brothers-in-law. But how hard would it be if my family didn’t like him?
Again, maybe this is just rambling, but I this was something that was on my mind. Picture how tough it would be if Ryan’s family didn’t like me. I can’t even imagine how miserable that would make things when we go visit them!
I know that it’s easy to tell yourself everything will be okay as long you’re “in love”, but heed what your friends and family think of the person you’re dating or engaged to marry. And that’s my two cents on this entire subject.
Also, I’d like to note this: My older sisters have all married men that I have come to love as my brothers. Alan has been in the family since before I was born,Chad since I was five-ish, Clay for ten years (I think that’s right) David for around eight or nine years, and Terry for about three now. These men have been the best possible additions to our family, and I don’t think of my family without thinking of them. Now it’s up to my brother Sneed to pick a good addition…but no pressure. Whatsoever. Really.